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How I overcame depression and anxiety disorder

It’s been 2 years now and I want to share my experience from a terrible ...


  1. very good video. i mean i hate that you've been feeling this way but its very helpful to hear this  from someone whose going through the same things.

  2. Change does not happen suddenly. This is the most difficult part I guess about mental health issues. I also have major depressive disorder. I am seeing university's counselor years now and it is working. I realize that after 3 years. In my opinion healthy diet, exercise , being social helps a lot but you should also consider your thought patterns why you feel or behave that way, what are your thoughts etc. This "journey" ( I hate that word🙈) can be hard and not fun sometimes but after these years I am glad for I increase my awaerness and I know myself better. My biggest suggestion is find a counselor who have perspective you like. There is no magic treatment you do it and after that you feel amazing everything is allright. I found this quiet heartbreaking in the past. But this is truth. I love you I watch your videos years now I love your aesthetic and sarcasm. Take care of yourself. Love from İstanbul, Turkey😊

  3. What did you study in university? What's your job? If you don't mind me asking.

  4. This video really resonated with how I've been feeling lately. I live in Chicago too, and it's like after this last week with the dreary weather (besides today, it's lovely) I can feel those feelings of depression and just a sense of being 'lost' creeping in and it's honestly terrifying. A lot of it is feeling stuck career wise, and having no idea what I'm doing. I have also been on and off antidepressants for the past three years, but I do not want to go back on them atm. I wish that words could help more, but sometimes I feel like knowing you are not alone reassures me. So thank you for this video because that is exactly what it did for me! Watching YouTube is my greatest escape, so whenever I am feeling like this I try to distract myself with content I know is going to take my mind off of destructive thoughts. As for motivation, I am constantly forcing myself to get out and be around people that make me feel good. Being with people I feel like I can be myself around is so essential to my mental health. Sorry for the run-ons! I wish you all the best Heather, know you are so appreciated by all your subbies! <3

  5. I went to my schools councilor/therapist as well at the end of my spring semester last year which was my freshmen year. I went because it was nearing finals but professors still were giving these major assignments that for me happened to all be due around the same time. I could not motivate myself to start anything. I could sit and list everything that needed to be done and how I needed to do it but the thought of actually starting TERRIFIED ME. my anxiety was actually crippling me and I just felt so lost like literally confused and unable to focus or be present. even in my classes I was like there but not there at all. so I went to talk to a councilor and after breaking down and talking to her about my anxiety and my history with anxiety she said it seemed like it was a biological component of who I was (I've been having anxiety attacks and panic attacks since middle school) and she asked if I was on medication which I'm not because that kind of scares me, I don't know if I'm ready to take something that will alter my emotions and mood in that way. I honestly handle my anxiety pretty well for how crippling it is, that incident was the first time I felt very afraid to do school work. usually I get afraid to go outside or talk to people. when I say afraid I mean it all seems very scary. I can't describe it well but it just feels like too much to even handle and I just lay in bed under my cover facing the window and I usually cry because that helps sooth the mental pain but overall I get very scared and anti-social. also I'll think I'm a failure, like I could have literally just gotten a 100% on something but as soon as my anxiety kicks in I feel like I'm a piece of shit who will never do anything. it's totally illogical but I basically fall into a hole of feeling terrible about myself, scared to go outside, unwilling to talk or be seen by people for about 2 days max and then it'll go away. this happens consistently when ever I go on a long break from school. school keeps me busy but the first few weeks of Thanksgiving, winter, spring and summer break always, always trigger my anxiety because I have time to just sit and think all my negative thoughts that consume my mind.

    anyway. what the councilor had me do was download meditation apps and meditate daily or when I really needed it. they were breathing and focuse based and actually did help me relax though I think most of the time I'd do them and fall asleep which isn't really bad because sleep does help with functioning and I would feel overall better after I meditated or woke up from a peaceful nap. I don't use those apps anymore but after talking to her she did tell me to get organized and I did and it helped me start things but it wasn't so much the organization it was the realization that all of the little things I was freaking out over where actually so easy and small tasks that I could do. so it was more about breaking the mind set that something is scary. so now what I tell myself is "if you want to start something, just start" this keeps me away from thinking of negative "what ifs", I don't even give myself a chance to get there, I JUST DO IT. but also It would be bad for me if I did not have support systems and a social network of people who I could talk to. all me friends and I have very busy and different schedules. so what I did was make a group chat randomly one day. now everyday we are texting each other good morning, and using the group chat as not only a place to laugh and plan times to hangout but as a place where we can say hey guys today I'm feeling angry or nervous about something or I'm having a bad day. it's like having a support hotline of all your best friends. that has been really helping me lately.

  6. lil tip on the meds that youve probably heard but like since everones brain is different you might have to tr different meds at different dosages to see what really works if you chose to go that way. it took me a while to find the right dosage. but yeah i alwso do this real stupid thing where i stop taking my meds to prove that i dont need them then two das later i am reminded that i do.but oh well thats life

  7. It's so tough when you've anxiety, and you've not been in social situations like school for a while and then you've to try and get back into it. When I was in college, there was a six week gap between semesters I think, and then the summer holidays were over three months so it'd take a few weeks to really get used to it and then sure you were off again. Last semester I had class four days a week, and there was no one week where I made it into college on all four days.

    So sorry to hear you've SAD. I had an app on my phone to help me last year as I couldn't get up in the dark mornings. It's a dawn simulator app. I don't have it anymore, but there's a few so I remember testing them before landing on one.

    Hope you're looking after yourself m'love. x

  8. i just recently got off lexapro after only taking it for about a month and couldnt stand it anymore. it made me feel happy alot of the time but it also just put me in a giant fog where i couldnt feel anything or even when when i did feel something i felt it too much and couldnt stop. since i was in that giant fog i literally could not process any information or remember anything to save my life so my grades got worse, which also made my anxiety worse, so in the end it did more harm than good for me. you should update us if or when you try another medication, im still trying to see if i want to try one

  9. The thing about when you do plant based diets is that you have to make sure you are getting enough protein and iron. You can obviously get those in plant based diets, but it's definitely more difficult. Protein and iron are both what allow you to create hemoglobin, a lack of this can lead to fatigue. Maybe you could try adding more iron and protein rich things into your diet, there are tons of plant based options. I definitely suffered from iron deficiency last year, I was always exhausted. To find out if you are iron deficient (anemic) you could just get a blood test done, and if you are they will prescribe you iron supplements.

  10. i feel you on the weather + no car thing… i live in Montreal and have to walk 10 mins to get to the grocery store. yeah. im dreading this winter lol

  11. Love this video, thanks for being so authentic and so real. I suffered from clinical depression for a while but I'm at it with my anxiety and most recently been going through stuff with acute stress, and I talked about it on my blog yesterday actually and it's just to have people connect and understand that you need to take some time out and make sure you focus on your health and well being when things aren't too good. So really happy you posted this video xx.

  12. The Irish weather really gets to me, like it's crap all year round for the most part but winter is just miserable. I woke up this morning and it's grey and raining and I just don't want to leave the house. And it gets dark so early so if you're in work or school there's a good chance you're going there in the dark and coming home in the dark. I totally agree about the whole dropping out of school thing, basically in Ireland if your parents income is low enough you get a grant which is great because it meant I could actually go to college but it also meant that if I dropped out I wouldn't get another chance and I also couldn't transfer to anything else, I hated my course for the majority of the time I was in it but I didn't have many other options so I stuck it out and it had a huge effect on my mental health. I'm in the same position, not being in school in winter for the first time, and I've also just moved away from home for the first time so I'm hoping it goes okay, I totally relate to the not having a car thing I really miss being able to call my dad for a lift home. I've started taking these super expensive vitamins that my dad recommended that actually really help with my energy levels, not sure exactly which vitamins specifically are helping me but I know B12 is good for energy, maybe you could look into taking that? The ones I'm taking are Revive Active, I think they're an Irish company but maybe they'd help?

  13. thanks for talking about this <3 idk. i've been struggling with various diagnosed mental health issues for 10+ years now but i still haven't figured shit out. i know this doesn't sound very promising.. about 6 months ago i had (another) nervous breakdown and (once again) became completely dependent on a non-supportive family. at the same time i'm selfemployed which means i'm broke af and have like 10 different jobs rolled into one. which is fine because i love my business and despite struggling i'd never give up on it but if i don't put in the work there's no one else to do it. anyways.. what i'm trying to say is and what i've been trying to work on regarding recovery is on the one hand learning to set achievable goals for myself. i have hundreds of lists of things i want to/have to/should be doing but these honestly just stress me out to the point where i shut down completely. so right now my goal is to do one thing every day. whether that is some type of content or boring paperwork or just a phone call i've been putting off each day i have to do something. your goals i guess will be different and maybe you can handle more to start with. but i'm still learning to properly assess my capabilities on a day-to-day basis and pick tasks that are managable but still push my boundaries. the other thing that i've been trying to work on is to acknowledge my successes. whether that's doing the one thing that i set out to do that day or my past achievements or the fact that after 6 months i took the subway for the first time on tuesday and the world didn't end haha. i have to force myself to just take a moment and acknowledge that i am getting things done and i am working on getting better. even if these seem insignificant and i'd rather laugh at myself that all i could manage that day was to call a customer and sort out their order i still did that and i'm that much closer to getting to the point where i can do more. there are days when i can work 12 hours straight and there are days when i just reply to an email. but i still replied to that email you know.. idk i hope all this rambling is helpful in some way. but i truly appreciate that you are talking about mental health and it kinda makes me want to be more open about it because i still have a lot of shame attached to my issues even after all these years. so thank you.

  14. Hey firstly I love your videos ❤️ I'm quite similar with the whole motivation thing especially when my routine changes or I don't have solid plans if that makes sense? So at the start of this year I was really unmotivated, couldn't get out of bed, couldn't do any school work etc and I think the thing that helped me was first having a day off not to worry about all the shit I had to do that I wasn't doing and then getting back into the things I loved:painting, photography etc but rewarding myself with YouTube and to shows etc then I set myself a really firm routine (get up at six, go for a walk at eight, paint at nine etc) to MAKE myself do shit and it's not easy but that helped me. I hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon xxx

  15. for me, my depression would get worse in the summer because I didn't have any discipline(going to school everyday) and I barely saw my friends. As for the motivation thing, I never have any motivation or energy. I'll think about doing something productive but just end up sleeping or using my phone. I need to work on that lol

  16. I don't know. I find when I make lists that making the list becomes an exhausting job in itself. The thing with forcing yourself to do things like that is that you don't want to do it, but while you're doing it, subconsciously you're building up a ton of anxiety. Cause when you're done you've got this enormous freaking LIST, and it's full of things you have to DO, because if you don't DO them, you'll be horrible, you will have wasted your time, you just aren't any good, nothing will get any better, etc., etc.

    Maybe the cure is to not go along with anyone else's idea of how you should order your life. I'm sure you don't need to write down, 'clean the bathroom, do a Youtube video, feed the cat'; you already know you have to (or want to) do these things. Maybe instead of piling up a ton of things you must do, you should pare it down to doing just one thing well. Block all the rest out of your mind. Focus on one thing. I find if I do that, the crap ton of things I 'must' do gets deflated. If you deprive the LIST of its importance and focus on just one thing, a simple thing, or a complex thing, and give that your attention, you accomplish a lot more, and you enjoy yourself. You even feel a sense of achievement because one thing you wanted to do got done without letting yourself be felled by anxiety or overcome with all the 'shoulds.'

    One other thing I'd mention, which was important for me, so it may be something to ponder. When I was in school, a lot of people I knew had variations of what you're experiencing, and more so right after graduation. I didn't have that, but that was because I knew what I wanted to do when I got out. I was and am a writer. I was earning money writing while I was in college, so I didn't have to figure out anything when I got out. I just went right into a writing job, which I had already been doing. Inadvertently, I missed all that anxiety of, NOW what do I do? when you leave with a diploma.

    I already knew what I wanted, more than just a job. I had a variety of things that were important to me, and getting out of school was total liberation for me to chase those things down. Years later, I accomplished some of what I wanted; in other areas, I failed miserably. But as depressing as that is, it really doesn't bother me. I figure I'm just human. Not everything I do is going to succeed, so I focus on the good I have done and figure, hey, it's really not a bad average. I did OK.

    I think if you can bring yourselt to look at your Big Picture (without anxiety!), and find out what it is you really, really want, if money were no object, if you had all the time in the world, you'd be able to find what it is that you truly desire. It doesn't mean you have to do that thing (most of us change our minds drastically as time goes by), but you need to find out what truly gives you joy, and make a plan (not a list!) to steer your life in that direction. If that means moving to a warmer, sunnier place, do it. If it means changing jobs or even careers, do that. Find out what would make you tired but happy and contented at the end of a long day, and begin to plan how to make some part of that happen.

    This is all FWIW. I hope some part of this made sense, and that it's a little bit useful to you.

  17. I just started uni this year and I'm about to finish my second semester. I've been bludging it though and have been missing so many classes. I just didn't have the motivation and couldn't get out of bed. You're not alone, gurl xx <3

  18. have you tried a SAD lightbox?

  19. I totally understand where you are coming from. I've been wanting to create YouTube videos for a while now and I've even planned out five of then to the smallest detail, but whenever it came to actually feeling them my mood just drops. I don't feel like doing anything. And not doing anything puts me in a worse mood because I feel pressured to do SOMETHING. It a downward spiral, really.

  20. I totally feel you on losing energy/motivation to do things. Even though I have been dealing with my mental health ~issues for like 7 years and been medicated for the majority of the past 6, I still go through spurts where I'm like "yeah! I am gonna do x, y, and z" and I will be into it and then lose motivation for whatever I started within days if not hours or minutes. I am also constantly tired. I'm sure my antidepressants don't help, but I live in a constant state of fatigue or at the very least grogginess and I just wanna sleep all the time! Sorry this isn't exactly helpful I just wanted to commiserate lol!

  21. I also feel like I have seasonal affective disorder. I'm from Michigan and I went to college in New Orleans and I have noticed an intense difference in my mood after living here for a year. When I was in michigan I was so miserable all winter and I missed so much school I had to drag myself out of the house. I think the weather has a big effect on my mood, I like rainy or sunny days and I don't like overcast winter days. I just feel like i can definitely relate to that because it was the defining experience of my senior year of high school.

  22. This sounds so strikingly similar to what i have been experiencing the last few years. I never understood it fully until i took a psychology class my senior year. My junior year was when it was really bad though and i missed days of school at a time because I couldnt manage to get out of bed to face the cold pennsylvania winter. It was one of the coldest winters we'd had in the last decade so it was especially hard but what helped me most was assigning myself small tasks. Like if i had to go to school, instead of looking at it as a whole process id say ok i have to sit up now. ok i have to get out of bed now. ok i have to run the shower. brush my teeth. find my coat. go downstairs. wake my brother. leave for the bus and etc etc until i actually made it to school that day. it was still very hard but i made it to graduation and got into a good school. but just to be safe i chose a school in LA to try to "outsmart" seasonal depression and maybe enjoy college more without using meds.

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