Home / Anxiety & Depression / MY LIFE FELL APART | Chit Chat GRWM | Anxiety, Panic Attacks & BAD Health | Negative Space Eyeliner

MY LIFE FELL APART | Chit Chat GRWM | Anxiety, Panic Attacks & BAD Health | Negative Space Eyeliner

Hey guys. I am back! I was gone for 2 weeks getting my health both mental and physical back in order. I talk all about how I am doing that in this video. I know this video is ALL over the place with doing this crazy makeup look, and talking about my Anxiety, Depression, Panic attacks, health issues and how I fixed everything over the last few weeks.

In the last few weeks I have done a massive overhaul of my life, and have completely shifted not only my lifestyle and my mindset.

If you are having issues with depression, anxiety, panic attacks or any form of health concerns both physically or mentally, please see a doctor. I saw my doctor and am following her recommendations and am feeling better because of it. If you need medication to help your anxiety and depression, TAKE IT. Do NOT take what I am saying as any form of diagnosis or telling you what to do. Listening to positive thinking and meditating are what I PERSONALLY have done to help myself through this rough time in my life.

Someone in the comments mentioned that StacyMarieMUA is the one who originated the Negative Space Liner look – so here ya go!

Here are some Tony Robbins videos that I watched that have helped me massively.

Tony Robbins: How to Understand Yourself (Tony Robbins Motivation) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKvNaCpzYxE

How to understand yourself and overcome depression



The app I referred to is called Headspace and its a FREE app that offers 10-minute guided meditation.

Products Used: (will link all of them very shortly!)

IT Cosmetics CC Cream – Medium

Tarte Shape Tape Concealer – Fair Neutral

RCMA No Color Powder

Kat Von D Shade & Light Contour Palette

Ofra x Nikkietutorials Everglow Highlight

Morphe 25A Copper Spice Palette

ABH Modern Renaissance Palette

Koko Lashes – Risque

Stila Magnificent Metals Glitter Shadow – Kitten Karma

OFRA Charmed

Makeup Geek – Acoustic Foiled Lipgloss

Username: rawbeautykristi

FOR BUSINESS: rawbeautykristi@gmail.com
CLICK THIS LINK to shop for my favorite Sigma Brushes!

For Costume/Halloween Contacts CLICK this link https://camoeyes.com/?ref=72
Enter code “rawbeautykristi” at checkout for 10% off!
Thanks for watching!

HI! My name is Kristi! Welcome to my channel!
First off, I am not your average YouTube Beauty Vlogger. I do the typical Product Reviews, Makeup Tutorials, Lifestyle Vlogs and SO much more, all with a sense of humor and a bit of a potty mouth. You can ALWAYS be assured that i am giving my full and HONEST opinion. SUBSCRIBE & Join in on the fun!

FTC Disclaimer: This video is NOT sponsored. All opinions are 100% mine. I only talk about products I genuinely like and only give honest reviews.
ALL LINKS beginning with an asterisk are affiliate links * Affiliate links meaning if you click the link and purchase items through that link, I will receive a small commission on that purchase*
Some products are sent to me for consideration of a review. (PR)



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Hey guys sorry I havent been posting. source


  1. Hey guys! I wanna make something clear real quick: If you are having issues with depression, anxiety, panic attacks or any form of health concerns both physically or mentally, please see a doctor. I saw my doctor and am following her recommendations and am feeling better because of it. If you need medication or therapy to help your anxiety and depression, DO IT. Do NOT take what I am saying as any form of diagnosis or telling you what to do. Listening to positive thinking and meditating are what I PERSONALLY have done to help myself through this rough time in my life.
    I am not saying it will cure you or help you as well, but this is just my personal story. I say all of this at the end of the video unfortunately most people don't watch full videos, so they may miss that fact
    but just know, I am in NO WAY a professional and don't want my advice to be detrimental to someone with mental health issues.

  2. Thank you sooo very much for this one, I’ve suffered from depression and used to have awful panic attacks with horrible anxiety and am a diabetic as well. Over the last year, I’ve done real good for myself. And glad to hear you’re doing better too! Makes me feel less alone

  3. INCREDIBLE!!! Keep going and keep sharing! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

  4. Gawd metformin made me so sick. I can’t take it. I pushed and tried again for 8 months but I had non stop explosive diarrhea. I couldn’t go out of the house, I could barely get to my living room and still be able to get to the bathroom in time. It was pure hell. So many people have no problem with it but I couldn’t find the desire to keep living while taking that horrible crap.

  5. I know this video is basically ancient but guided meditation (you can find a billion on this site) have really helped me in the past when I've had panic attacks.

  6. I have to stay away from cult like, zealot types because I have ptsd from being forced to be in a cult like religion until I was 18. So Tony makes me cringe wether I want it or not.

  7. Dr google is good sometimes though.
    I always figure out what I have going on before I get to dr to diagnose.

  8. That's a great work and progression you did on feeling better. Amazing 🙂

  9. Wow. This older video actually popped up right after I commented on your deco haul video. And every single thing you say, from your mindset to your health issues, could be about myself, word per word. And I actually go about trying to deal with those things in the same ways that you describe. And the progress is slow, but year after year I DO see so much progress and change, from being less of a control freak to being a more positive and spontaneous person, one step at a time. Also becoming less of a severely sceptical and cynical person to becoming more open, and actually more spiritual as well. was wondering if the changes that you had implemented in 2017 have worked out in the long run for you, if you found maybe new ways of coping, or if something didn't end up working as you hoped. One of the additional things that I found were incredibly helpful (including health issues and chronic pain) are natural supplements. I studied and read a ton about it and I am in a facebook group with a ton of incredible, knowledgeable people who also helped me find what works for me (not that I turned my back on medicine, by any means, but it was just not enough at a certain point). And it had a huge impact on my phisical and mental (biochemical) health… I'm sorry for the totally makeup-unrelated rambling comments, but your videos really meant a lot to me as I am sure they did to all your viewers who struggle with similar issues. Also, I think educating the general public to these issues and making them less of a taboo is so incredibly important and unvaluable. Thank you for that.

  10. But it’s not an issue with sugar it’s an issue with the breakdown of carbs, i hope your doctor didn’t explain it to you like that 🤦🏻‍♀️

  11. its honestly so nice to have someone on youtube with so many of the same health problems I have

  12. You are SO SO great, KRISTI…my heart loves you❣

  13. I'm so glad I saw this video of yours. I have major health anxiety and I'll feel off and have a panic attack often. Usually its hormone related I believe.

  14. Oh holy shit girl. Just watching this now. I CAN SOOOOOOO RELATE ! A shopping mall is THE WORST place to be if you have any mental health issues ! I have not been to a mall in probably 7 years ! I seriously would rather die. Just thinking about it makes me soooooo anxious ! Tony just did a podcast with my man Russell Brand……you should check it out !

  15. I am so totally there with you on all this stuff. I, too, have PCOS and have both depression and anxiety. I was in a really tough work situation and it literally drove me over the edge. I had to go on medication. Panic attacks are no joke! I also have the "what ifs" in my head and never feel good enough. Since then, a work visa issue made me have to leave my job and move home. Since then, I've gotten so much better. My parents and I are on a low carb diet and we've lost weight. I dove into my Christian faith instead of into my internal stew. Congrats on finding the system that works for you, because everyone is different and everyone can learn to get through this. Thanks for being honest and putting this out there to help others.

  16. YT decided to play this after one of your other videos and I'm speechless! I went through the same exact thing you did and I handled it exactly the same way you did. I love Tony Robbins! This video really spoke to me. I have no doubt that this video helps other people deal with the same issues. I commend you for sharing! I thought I adored you before, but your depth of character in this sealed the deal. If you ever come to the states for a meet and greet, I will travel any distance just to meet you! Side note: Canadian YouTubers are the best!

  17. This is such an old video but I'm just now watching it & I never knew how much I needed this! I discovered you a month ago & have been watching your videos & I've been feeling the same way you did at this point in your life & I'm literally in tears because it's everything I needed to hear. I was definitely meant to come across this video. You woman, are AMAZING! ❤❤

  18. I have severe chronic anxiety to where i can’t deal with what seems like anything and I am on anti anxiety medication bc they are fast acting.. no breathing helps etc… but ASMR helps me and aromatherapy does

  19. Hi Kristi, I know this is an old video, but I recently found your channel and naturally here I am binge watching all of your content! But I just wanted to take the time to say from the bottom of my heart thank you for this video. Some of the things you said were very helpful and comforting as I have found myself in similar situation to this. Thank you again for your channel, and giving me a place to fit in ❤

  20. That eye look is bomb! 😍
    I also use headspace and recommend it so much 🙂
    Right now, with all the drama connected to renovating your house, you should watch this video and listen to yourself. You managed to feel better then so you will now too, it just needs some time.
    I hope everything goes well, fingers crossed 🙂

  21. Been there and back. You are not alone. I adore your work. Keep uploading!

  22. After years of ridiculous anxiety and chronic depression. I finally got to a place where I practice self compassion. Shame isn’t allowed in my life. If I’m anxious I’m anxious, I’ll walk myself through it like I’m dealing with a fragile friend. It’s been 5 months since my last attack…..winning at life.

  23. While I'm sure Tony Robins is helpful for a lot of mental health problems, I assure you can't fix real depression by listening to someone saying and in turn saying to yourself, that you are not going to be depressed anymore and presto depression is gone! First off what you where experiencing wasn't clinical depression, you were down for a short period of time. Real clinical depression is characterised by, among other things, how long you have it for. I've battled with depression for about 20 yrs now. It's not just an outlook, it's a chemical imbalance and it's all encompassing. Over the years I have tried so many things to try get my head right, I've fulfilled dreams of travelling and completing a BA Hons degree, plus had traditional treatment such as CBT counselling and been on various anti – depressants, which I'm still on today. Nothing has helped me long term and ive been close to suicide several times.
    My case is made more complex by the fact that I have fibromyalgia, endometriosis and a chronic migraines. These physical ailments create a vicious circle effect with the depression because the chronic pain compounds the depression and the depression compounds the chronic pain.
    I also get anxiety and panic attacks but while I've had the more classic style panic attack where you feel like you're having a heart attack, I mainly get a different type of attacks which can last all day and be very very debilitating. Tony Robins can't talk you out of that kind of depression, n but I will admit it most probably helps

  24. You are amazing! Thank you for being so real!!!!! I have to watch you each day so i can have good laugh and get tips on makeup!

  25. Have you heard of the tapping resonse

  26. I have severe PTSD with anxiety and depression. In the moment i think im dying but i cant stop it. NO ONE will understand an Anxiety attack unless they have them.

  27. omg! the headspace app is the best! headspace is actually an organisation in Australia that provides free mental and sexual health services to people aged 16-25 and they are so amazing. love your vids!

  28. Omg, the kitty meowing in the beginning made me pause the video to check to see if it was one of mine! I hope you are still doing well!! Love your channel; I'm a new subscriber and I'm so glad I found you!

  29. Focusing on the solution and not the problem does take practise but once you do you can grab the bull by the balls with the calmest demeanor ever…

  30. Good for you!!! So inspiring

  31. I know this is an older video, but I just found you so I’m binge watching 😁Anywho, I just wanted to say, Anxiety fucking sucks. There’s no better way to put it. Anyone who hasn’t dealt with it themselves has no fucking business commenting on what to do to help it. Everyone is different, experiences anxiety differently and controls it differently. I’m glad you found a way to manage it and hope that it continues to work for you! LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!! Please continue to do what you do ❤️

  32. Do u believe in Jesus? Or read the bible? Praying n reading scripture well help ur anxiety. Also xanax will help.

  33. Love watching this in 2018 and you kept up with the lifestyle and lost 40 pounds. Not only did you hit 100k subscribers your over 400k right now. This really shows that if you want to change your life you can. 💚💚💚

  34. Omg ….this spoke to me on sooooo many levels! HeadSpace is the best! Tony didnt help me but Steven Furtick did. I too had to be put on metformin. I'm also the need to know when where how … But I have been able to overcome slowly as well on my fears … I'm new to following you and I LOVE YOU … you make me laugh … you are so real and candid and the absolute best! Thank you for being REAL!

  35. I totally understand the "What if,What if????"
    Beleive me u will make it!
    Go for plant based food.
    Do u know the film "Fork over Knife? I really helped me a lot.

  36. I've watched your videos off and on in the past but never subscribed. Today I watch one on your anxiety, depression, health…etc. I also obviously watched this one. I'm struggling with most of that plus weight gain. Im about 50 lbs over weight. The depression got so bad. I think depression and medication put on lbs. My profile pic is old. I wasn't really overweight then. Anyway, we have 2 boys. One is 14 yrs old with Autism (high functioning). When I say high functioning, I mean, not wheelchair bound, he can speak and he's capable of being taught, but its still so hard. I feel like im always fighting for him because nothing comes easy when your helping an Autistic child. Im always unsure of what the future holds. That also gives me anxiety and paranoia. For yrs up to a month ago, all I did was sleep all day. I started Keto a month ago and I no longer sleep all day. Anyway, Im rambling. I've seen your video's before and knew that you were a very honest YouTuber but today was different. I saw how real and honest you are, not just about makeup, but real life. I think your an amazing women. I did watch Tony and I wanted to thank you for sharing your real life experiences and Tony. I only listened to 1 video but I will continue. Today, I subscribed to your channel. Looking forward to seeing more videos. You look amazing.

  37. Wow! You have really been through it girl. I’m so glad you find the other side! AND you are killing it with this look. DAMN! Love you.

  38. Thank you for being so open and honest! I struggle with anxiety and depression and I will be taking your tips to heart!

  39. Number one I'm a hypochondriact real bad lol I feel you may be as well but I've always had health issues as well so there's a reason for it. Ya feel me? Anyways, Ive been diagnosed with bipolar, depression and anxiety for most of my life and I do take medicine for it because I also have panic attacks regularly and I know how you feel girl it's the absolute worst and can ruin your damn life.. I was like stuck in my house for like a damn year from being off of my medicine it was SO much worse. Even with my medicine though I still have days that I have random anxiety and panic attacks and it's horrible that's for sure. I'm gunna try meditating though and I want to start practicing yoga I think that can help as well as an alternative medicine know what I'm sayin. i should excersize though as well.. I'm gunna try it out I'm glad you talked about this I know mines a bit different than yours BUT I still think those things can help 👌🏼 I'll let ya know ☺️ Also, now I want to try this negative liner eye makeup technique! Your makeup looks absolutely gorg. As usual!

  40. You deserve to have 5 million subscribers. You are so strong and amazing. Truly inspiring for so many people

  41. I have been struggling so much with anxiety and depression lately because I will be losing my job in a couple of weeks and I've been struggling with bad thoughts and how my life will never be enjoyable. Watching your videos have made me feel happy when I thought I couldn't feel happy anymore. Thank you for that and thank you for this video to help open my eyes. You are really a role model for me and I aspire to change my mindset to become the same as yours. Thank you.

  42. Fast forward a year and holy crap you have made amazing changes! Congrats!

  43. Hi Kristi! I realise this is an old video and you'll probably never see this comment, but I want to post it anyway. I only stumbled across your channel last weekend – I love it – and I've been watching a bunch of your videos this week. This one has really affected me; a lot of the mental and physical health stuff you talked about is SO similar to things I've experienced over the last few years. I've always known logically that there are countless other people who've felt the way I felt, but this is the first time I've felt like I've really connected with someone else's story and perspective. I don't know where this is going, other than…well, your words really resonated with me have had such a positive effect on my mindset about health and wellbeing tonight. So thanks for being so candid and relatable. You're awesome – I've subscribed and will be sticking around! 🙂

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